Saturday, August 13, 2011

"You want to tousle?"

The other day I was driving around and I saw a couple kids (well teenagers maybe) messing around on the sidewalk. At first it looked like one was attacking or hurting the other, but really they were just fooling around. I could not help but smile and laugh. I think that play is one of the greatest things ever and being able to engage in it is a very admirable quality to have.

I remember back to when my brother and sister were growing up, all we did was fool around and "fight" eachother. Sure once in a while someone got hurt, much to my mom's predictions, but it was some of the most fun I have had with my family. Having a sense of imagination and being able to just run around doing something ridiculous with someone else is just so necessary. Most of my fondest memories with friends and loved ones consists of wrestling on the floor or tackling one another or making up some stupid game and just going at it. Even as an...adult?...I still love to tousle around with anyone who is willing. It just seems so natural and so carefree, like nothing else matters for a little while except connecting with someone you love and making a mess of the house.

I think I missed out a little growing up on the sports arena. When you think about it they are in fact games. It seems like throughout history and in every culture on earth, human beings love to compete and play games. I am a little less competitive than most, but I still love a good game and wished I thought about Junior High CYO basketball a little more like this. It is kinda cool though that everywhere there are people, we find something fun and strategic, that usually involves physical contact, to pass the time.

So whenever I am walking around and I see people playing something, messing around, or even just running around the park chasing each other, I just get so happy. I remember me and Amanda practically killing each other, my siblings and I giving my mother a headache, my friends and I tearing up the neighborhood, and many others who gave me some of the most giddy-filled moments in my life. I also feel relief in seeing people just relaxing and letting go for a few minutes to have some plain-old simple fun with someone else. This world moves so fast and is filled with so much negativity and bs that we need a little fun every once in a while. One of the things I am looking forward to more than anything else is getting down on the ground and playing games with my kids.

Until then, anyone want to come over and play? =)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Nature!!!

I miss the trees, the grass, the stars, the animals, and the fresh scent in the air so much! The city has its perks, but nothing can beat all-natural, home-grown, full-bodied dense woods. Sure it doesn't have shopping malls, sidewalks packed with people you don't know, tons of pollution, advertisements every which way you look telling you what to buy, where to go, and what to look like; but I kinda like that it is missing those things. Don't get me wrong I love the city-the freedom, the adventure, and the challenges. But my roots have me always aching for a walk in the woods, or a swim in a stream, or something as simple as reading my book on real grass.

I think what most people that go through feelings of depression, anxiety, or just emptiness are missing is a reconnection with nature. We are living, breathing, animals (sorry people but it is true, we are in the animal kingdom). Doesn't it make sense that we would naturally want to be in a living environment like the great outdoors, the country? I have heard some people say they hate nature or they are afraid of it. I don't know if those are accurate emotions but if they are I feel terrible! Life is beautiful, and real life is what comes from the Earth, not what is created and manufactured by us. These things do have their purpose, but I think everyone should experience that amazing feeling of being surrounded by life.

Go into the woods or find a nice meadow. Hear the silence, allow yourself to breathe the fresh air, take a minute to not think about anything but just to exist. Peace. Feeling the dirt beneath your bare feet, touching the leaves, smelling the flowers, hearing the animals talking, climbing a tree, and just feeling apart of something greater than yourself. I mean think about it, the entire planet is connected. Sure we are on different countries, but the soil that is under you comes from the same place as the soil across the world; the water that feeds your trees is water that may have evaporated from a lake in China. We are all one system, one world. And people, every last human being, are a part of the same planet just like everything else. When you hug another person, you are hugging life, real life.

It is very hard to explain, I just love life so much. Not my life, not living, but life. The biological living, breathing, moving, thinking that everything does. And all life breeds life; as one of the greatest Disney movie says, it is the "circle of life." I am going home, back to the woods, in a few days and the first thing I am going to do is go for a hike and talk to the trees. Yes that sounds crazy, but man does it feel good.

One semester done!

I just finished my first set of graduate classes at BC and it feels really weird. On the one hand, it is really relieving to be done with classes, but on the other I feel even more weight on my shoulders now. I got a lot out of my three classes, but the biggest thing I took away was the amount of work that is ahead of me. However, it is work that I am going to love doing.

While in class, first the first time ever I felt surrounded by the future leaders of the world. My classmates have so much passion and so much knowledge about education. I truly walked away inspired and at ease knowing that students all over are going to be taught by these people of such caliber. On a different note, the discussion we had during class brought to our attention many issues that the education system faces, that we will face while teaching.

Teaching is not just a 7-3 job where you walk in a classroom with some lessons planned and stand in the front talking to children. Good teachers, real teachers, make it their life's work; and trust me it is work. Inside every school is a microcosm, a miniature American society, where students are facing all the same things adults face. Racism, oppression, media, peer pressure, pain, hunger, competition, failure, success, self-discovery, relationship building, and exposure to everything that happens in the world good or bad. It is our jobs as teachers to prepare our students for real life and to teach them about the experiences they are having. I don't just teach social studies, I teach about life and the connection between the two. I need to be a role model by teaching them the right things and showing them the wrong things that are out there. So many times students are looked at as kids who are not ready for the truth, classrooms are more like a teacher's personal power trip, and schools are places that simply teach students that life is stressful. I do not want to be that teacher. I want to treat my students like equals, I want to engage with them, I want to learn from them, and I want them to connect with what they learn by doing not just reading.

Our society may or may not be in big trouble. Natural resources are being depleted, debt is ever-increasing, crime has not gone away, people are still starving, and worst of all people are still taking advantage of others and treating certain groups like shit. Our students need to face these issues. I want to teach my students to criticize all these things that go on around them, think critically about everything they hear and see, and go out and do something about it.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Do you hear what I hear?

Being able to hear is something many of us, myself included, take for granted and we often forget that there is an entire community of people who live with hearing impairments or unable to hear at all. These people have a very different perception of the world and an extremely intelligent way of communicating. I do not personally know anyone who is deaf, but I have met a few people who work passionately with deaf people in their community and I think it is fascinating to be able to live and work without sound. In our education courses on special needs and moderate disabilities, we have touched upon the learning needs of students with hearing impairments and it has really gotten me to rethink how I approach language. At the same time, it has made me really appreciate my abilities to hear.

Just being able to talk and verbalize my opinions, wants, needs, questions, etc is such a remarkable skill. Human beings throughout history began to develop communities and societies based around common languages and before ever learning how to write, passed down information via an oral tradition of storytelling. It is in our nature to communicate and for most of us that means using our hearing to listen. There are also so many sounds that are just so beautiful. Think about what it sounds like to hear a car driving slowly over gravel or small shells, or walking on tightly packed snow, or wooden floors on a boat or in a house creaking, the crackle of a fire, the coo of a baby, the pur of a kitten, the engine on a plane, the ding of a bell out at sea, or the chime of a clock. Just like smell, many of these can be tied to memory. In fact, that is why movies are so impacting; they use sound effects and soundtracks during scenes that they really want people to remember. Which brings me to another set of amazing sounds: music.

One of my all time favorite things to do is belt out a song and dance to it. Hearing certain beats or melodies or listening to really powerful lyrics strikes a chord (no pun intended) with many people. Whether it is a song from an popular artist or a drumbeat or classical song on the piano, so many people I know are very passionate about music. I think there is something inherently human about being moved by music; maybe it is not human, maybe it is deeper than that and we are picking up something subconsciously that other life recognizes. Either way, music is an integral part of life and being able to hear it and replicate it brings me a lot of happiness.

At one point in my life, when asked that incredibly hard question "if you had to live without one of your senses, which would you lose?," I would always pick hearing. After spending more time appreciating all those little sounds that really do make me feel good, that question has gotten even harder. So go out and listen to the world around you! Hear the birds, the bees, the trees, and people communicating. Practice some music or just appreciate that you can hear everything on TV. =)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Run Forest, run!

Running! One of my all time absolute most favorite things to do on the planet! There is nothing quite like the feeling of losing yourself in thought while speeding down the sidewalk, using up nothing but your own energy and motivation. Running is something so special to me, that it has probably come close to saving my life, multiple times.

The first time I ever ran was with Amanda during the summers when she needed to run a mile in six minutes for varsity soccer. That first day out was the worst day of my running life. I was out of breath by minute two, everything hurt, I was sweating more than I ever had before, I was tired because she forced me to get up early to beat the heat, and I absolutely hated everything in the world. But, she had to do it and I wanted to be there for her, so I kept it up (mostly because she would not let me stop) and as she got better I also got better. I was never into sports during my childhood. I played CYO basketball just because my dad put me in it and it was something I thought I had to do, but I never really enjoyed team competition or exerting myself too much. But after running in those mornings and seeing real improvements in physical ability, I kept it up. For the next few years it was restricted to treadmill running and trying to push more and more miles. Since I was more concerned about my body image then I should have been, a lot of my motivation was to look good, so I did not have anything really pushing me to run for running's sake or to get really into it. Again, I did it because I had to. Then, my sophomore year at BU, my roommate Jeff pushed me to get off the treadmill and run outside again. We took a 2.5 mile lap around the river and I was hooked. I am not joking when I say that day probably changed my life.

After that first run I began to run outside constantly. I could not go as far as I could on the treadmill at first because I had to adjust to breathing outside air, avoiding people, and being in the sun; but every time I went out I got better and better. I invested in a good pair of shoes and committed to running the Boston Marathon with Jeff our senior year, two years away. I trudged through a couple knee and food injuries, combated my first New England winter running outside, and discovered one of my most passionate joys in life. And yes, we both went on to run TWO marathons our senior year including The Boston.

Running is my time to get away from anything and everything. I think about so much while I run, my thoughts are usually racing and when I run it feels normal because I am actually keeping up with them as I move. Stress is instantly removed, I have so much energy (not that I did not have this in abundance before), and I am a much more relaxed person. I sometimes use running as an outlet to relieve some of my physical anxieties; it is a form of exercise that is extremely heathy, burns through everything, and makes me feel lighter. I also run to explore my environment; I have gotten to know so much of Boston that I never would have without running and whenever I go on vacation to a new place I love to see what it has to offer by running. When I can literally go for hours and miles, I get to see so much and don't fear getting lost, in fact sometimes I love to! I love challenging myself physically and seeing how much I can push myself by running faster and harder and longer. I love to run when I am in a good mood because I smile the whole time and belt out whatever comes on my ipod. I love to run when I am really sad or worried about something because I manage to clear my head and get a much better look at the situation. I love to lesson plan and think about my classroom when I run; in fact my kids give me so much motivation because they are all so impressed with how much I run. I love that I can run marathons and that I have committed to running at least two every year, I never thought in my life that I could accomplish something like that.

Running just brings me so much happiness. It is something I do for me only and one of the few things that I can actually satisfy myself without needing anyone else. The feelings I get while running are like being on top of the world, in fact it is probably as close to flying as I could ever feel (which is something I always wished for when I threw a penny into a fountain.) I love being a runner and treating my body with respect so that I can stay a runner and perform at my best. Being a distance runner for so long has even taught me to think more long-term and has helped me to not stress the small stuff too much because I can always keep the goal in mind and know that it takes awhile for things to happen. I love that I get to teach people how to run and go running with my students and my friends, helping them to get something life changing out of it. It just feels so right and natural and has kept me from destroying myself. Whenver I feel like a bout of anxiety or depression is coming on too strong, I go for a looooong run. It is not a quick fix, but it really helps me to relax, think clearly, and put things in perspective. It is my way of handling life, and it just so happens to bring me tons of physical and health benefits. Going to the doctor and hearing "you are in perfect shape" makes me so genuinely happy; especially when being the opposite is such a possibility for me. What I have discovered in my life is that the only way to enjoy life and be happy is to emphasize the positive things you have and not give in to negative thoughts or behaviors. Running brings me those positives and I am very confidant that I am going to run for the rest of my life.

There is so much more that I want to and could say about this but I would end up writing for hours and still never be done. I think instead I will just keep running and running and running.

Food....a love/hate relationship

If you know me, you know I love to eat. If you know me well, you know that eating comes with a lot of baggage as well. I absolutely love love love food! Cooking is one of my favorite things to do because I get to go to the store and buy all different kinds of fresh veggies and spices and come up with a recipe to make them all taste delicious while at the same time nourishing my body and keeping it healthy. I love the fact that we need to eat and that everything you eat has a different effect on the body. Some vegetables have certain vitamins and minerals and others do not, some fruit helps you poop and some clogs you up, some spices can help with colds and others can make you sweat, some food helps to make everything in your body work the way it wants to and other foods make your body stop working all together. Getting in tune with your body and figuring out what you need is such an awesome skill. I am a vegetarian so it is very important that I get the right amount of protein; so picking out different foods (besides just peanut butter--my favorite--and tofu) to make sure I get enough is all the fun. Combining different foods to get different tastes, experimenting with how you cook and for how long, adding different sauces and spices, and making enough for everyone to share make cooking one of the greatest things to do. And it is all so necessary. Point blank, we cannot survive without food.

However, sometimes food comes with its price. When you are particularly concern with your physical self, food can bring some anxiety. Is this too fatty? Is this unnatural? Will this make me bloat? How much do I need to run to burn all this off? These are questions I am all too familiar with and when they come too frequently they can cause all types of normally delicious and satisfying foods to leave a bad taste in your mouth. However, through this maladaptive behavior of mine, I have learned a great many positive things. One thing is that I was very addicted to sweets and they were the source of most of my problems. Sweets, and I am talking real ones like ice cream, cookies, brownies, and peanut M&Ms, are naturally high in sugar and fat and very often made with unnatural sweeteners or high fructose. These are things that, although amazingly delicious, are not really meant to be in our bodies in very high doses. I unfortunately have very little will power and was incapable of having A cookie or SOME candy, I would instead gorge myself till I felt sick. This is bad, as I would then feel extremely guilty about eating and developed a strong negative association with the things that used to bring me so much joy. So, I picked up on the lovely motto of "everything in moderation," and realized that my body can handle some sweets every once in a while. I also learned that my body loves natural ingredients and the Earth loves it when I buy natural ingredients. Therefore, I love to make all my own meals and eat pure, all-natural, local, farm fresh vegetables. This is the kind of food that makes my body work so how could I feel guilty?

So, I am continuing on a journey to find peace with food. I am getting there and I think that exerting a little control over what I consume and what I buy is not a bad thing. If I keep up a healthy diet most of the time (lots of water, vegetables, fruit, protein, and a moderate amount of carbs), then I can afford to get off the train once in a while. This summer, now that I have the time, I am cooking all the time and really loving food. I have made so many new dishes and learning that I will actually feel full and better about myself when I put things in my body that belong there. I have also found that I have less cravings for sweet things and can exert more control when I eat them. So love food! Enjoy our life source! And appreciate everything the Earth gives you by consuming that, and not making it come from a processing manufacturing plant that needs to package and ship it from across the country.

Communities are my next topic of investigation

Let me start out by saying this post goes out to my very best friend Amanda, someone who has much more knowledge and experience on this topic and has graciously bestowed upon me a small fragment of her passion.

We have all been disapointed and felt the heartbreak when we were expecting our government or any large organization to come up with a solution to a problem, only to fail to do so. We think in our minds that our government or anyone with power is there and should be there to protect us and make our society right. To some degree I agree with this. A governemnt's primary purpose should be to ensure the well being of all its citizens and work diligently to help compromise with all the different wants and needs that will come about. Things like education, healthcare, fitness programs, transportation, safety, food; these are basic needs that every American has a right to no matter how successful an individual may become. However, beyond making all of these facets of society accesible and adequate, I personally believe it is then the job of the community to take it from there. I believe that communities are the places where the magic happens, where people form meaningful relationships and where significant changes can start. Yes, many communities in this country are not as fortunate or as equal as others. Although I think that a certain amount of inequality is bound to happen, and might even be neccessary, I also think that is where the state governemnt can step in to act as an equity builder and promoter of "sharing the wealth." Whether in the form of shifting around tax money or spending more money and having more projects in certain areas, the governemnt can aid in reducing gaps in our society. However, the communities themselves need to take a stand and put forward a voice, only by working together and caring for one another can any accomplishments be made.

Take a large and successful corporation for example. Pretend this corportation is an analogy of a typical small community. In order to be successful and make profit, there needs to be someone at the top with long-term goals who works with a smaller group of people who fine tune those goals and initiate short-term steps in order to reach them. Then, by providing structure and support to all employees, everyone is given a task based on their skills and by working together the corporation moves along. Communities are a lot like this. It takes structure, support, input from everyone involved, and a sense of togetherness. I think what I have seen some communities lack in the US is that sense of togetherness, a feeling of ownership and pride.

I really want to start getting more involved in the communities I live in and watching how people interact and maintain a strong bond within them. So far, I have seen some really really strong emotions and passion present and it makes me really believe in the power communities can have on individuals and on our society in general. Reading the book, "Deep Economy" has really pushed me on this adventure and I highly suggest it as food for thought for anyone interested in this topic. Hopefully I can create a school system built on this premise of working for and with your community!